im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i think i just lost a toe
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
