I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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