I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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