he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
