hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
