Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
