oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
