woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize