he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize