Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
