If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
