If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize