We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
