I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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