ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.