Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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