the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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