you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
