What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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