dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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