so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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