Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
