That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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