hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
