Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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