Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize