I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
