is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
