So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
