And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
