What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
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She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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