a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
