i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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