her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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