he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
