Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
