Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You should frame my arrest warrant.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
