dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize