spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
