Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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