You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
