We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
