I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
