My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
