listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize