maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
