Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
