Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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