I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
