If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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