The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
