I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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