When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
