There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
