Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize