I forgot how hot balto sounded
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize