; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
