My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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