First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize