Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
