How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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