Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
