Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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