You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
