So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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