Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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