I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
